Got this from Stephen today... so he deserves the mention he gets! Here goes...
A day in the life of bill
On a typical day I wake up, wash the foam insulation tape from my pinky toes and put on my boxers. I say goodbye to Mickey Mouse and I float to Nirvana where I am a systems analyst. I feel crazy excited about what I do; sure, I'd rather be a barista in Pocatello, but this pays the bills and buys me lots of sensitivities that I can shout about. My morning is pretty splendid. Aside from my 22 trips to the hallway to squash zits and my mushy encounter with Jason it's just the same every day.
I break for lunch and draw with Bruce Willis over a heavy plate of magic mushrooms. A quick jaunt to Johnny Oceans to thumb wrestle with Teevio, who's a total Tigger, and it's back to the grind until 1:30 when I jump on my monstrous taupe tricycle and head for home.
My evening is spent balancing the checkbook and listening to jget while romping around the family room wishing I was David Robinson and drinking all sorts of decaf skinny iced mochas. Then it's off to bed where I dream of cockroaches and Elmo in a turban.
OK, so in the spirit of the thing, I'll pass this along to...
David
Jason and
Chance (which should be really interesting because he has no idea who I am - just found his blog by accident...)
6/14/2005
On Being "that" Family...
You know the ones. They are always there when you fly. You've been in your seat for what seems like an hour, your seatblet is buckled and the tray table is in its "upright and locked" position, everyone is quiet (except the "professional" in seat 8C) and waiting for the flight to depart...
...and then, out of nowhere you hear some frantic muffled voices and the sound of something big and blunt banging the aisle seats. You know you shouldn't look up, but like a watching a wreck you really have no choice. Your eyes wander to the aisle and up, up, up toward where the front where "that" family is making their way toward you. One car seat, maybe two, carry on baggage and children making mom and dad look like pack animals, ticket stubs scattering like leaves.
If you're lucky they pass by you and drift away, forgotten until the next flight...but if you are the chosen one....
...my apologies. Believe it or not, we did the best we could.
...and then, out of nowhere you hear some frantic muffled voices and the sound of something big and blunt banging the aisle seats. You know you shouldn't look up, but like a watching a wreck you really have no choice. Your eyes wander to the aisle and up, up, up toward where the front where "that" family is making their way toward you. One car seat, maybe two, carry on baggage and children making mom and dad look like pack animals, ticket stubs scattering like leaves.
If you're lucky they pass by you and drift away, forgotten until the next flight...but if you are the chosen one....
...my apologies. Believe it or not, we did the best we could.
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